Have you ever wished you could just snap your fingers and gain knowledge or skills for something? Well this evening I had a similar experience, but from a different perspective. I had the pleasure of going to my cousin's elementary school orchestra concert... ouch my ears. Honestly, it was better than I expected, but I still had the urge to be able to wave my hands and magically make them sounds less painful.
I can distantly relate it to times when I've stood witness to someone doing something for the first time, and see them struggle like a child learning to walk. I know I can't just do it for them, they have to learn, but there is still that urge deep down inside that just wants to at least show them how easy it will be once they learn it.
Another example is my mom and ebay. She's used ebay to buy things several times and now she wants to start selling things. I haven't actually done this myself, but I know it isn't that hard. However, she has herself convinced that it will be complicated and that makes it sort of scary, as in right before you jump into a pool and find out if it's cold or not. She has even bugged me repeatedly to convince my good friend Aaron (ebay whore enthusiast) if he will sell her stuff for her. Now at first he considered it, but after we pondered a bit, we both realized that this is definitely something that she needs to do herself; a character building experience if you will.
This got me thinking about how one could make those firsts in life easier. There are things that help like having an older sibling or a friend that has done something give you tips or let you know what to expect. With so many things posted online these days, it's pretty easy to research stuff before you have to do it. But what about the things that aren't covered by these aids? Well after about 5 minutes of concentrated thought, I have decided that there shouldn't be a "safe" way all of the time. In fact I identified situations where I was nervous or unsure and paused for sometime to worry about it and that made it more thrilling, think of the slow ride up to the top of a roller coaster (worst part of the whole ride). Once I actually started in on my "first" it was more fun and more satisfying.
So while sometimes I may wish to be able to make someone more improved to save my ears, I have also decided that it may not always be a good thing to have a magic wand that I could wave and go Poof! skills.
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Tails up tip
I love to dance. Performing, social, club, whatever, I love it. What I would like to focus on tonight is social dancing. For those of you who don't have experience with this, social dancing in my dictionary is basically ballroom/latin/country dancing with either digital music or a live band. There are usually a lot of people of varying skill levels and it's a great time. There is also something called dance etiquette, and that folks, is the topic in question.
There are few things that can put a damper on my evening of dance. Being sick is one of them, a smokey is another, but the biggest thorn in my side is when people don't at least have some personal awareness of their actions. This may not be their fault or these poor souls may need some guidance, so I have a nice list of etiquette rules to help you continue dancing and making friends.
1. Freshen your breath.
Everyone gets cotton-mouthy after dancing for hours, so after you've eaten, if you smoke, if you've been dancing awhile, do your partner a favor and take a second to prevent them from holding their breath the whole dance.
2. Know your skill level.
I honestly love dancing with beginners. They tend to be timid and may step on my feet frequently, but how else are they going to learn, but by dancing? I honestly love dancing with experienced dancers. They can give me that yummy feeling that only some higher level moves can give. I honestly hate dancing with people who think they are at a much higher level than they are. Everyone makes mistakes and I, nor anyone else, am perfect, but just because you learned some cool move at a workshop, does NOT mean that you know how to lead it, and just because I didn't do what the dancer in you head was supposed to do does NOT mean that I didn't follow what you lead.
3. Do not teach your partner a new move on the dance floor during a social unless you are asked.
Maybe they don't want to do the sequence you learned with a flick because they don't want to look stupid like you do (ok that one was pretty harsh, but deal). If you lead something I don't know and I want to learn it, I will ask you. If I don't ask, don't do it again. Simple.
4. If you need to count the beats, count to yourself and make sure you're counting on time.
I understand that many people have a hard time counting music and learning to dance to it. What I don't understand is how saying the counts very loudly and blowing them into your partners face (even worse if you haven't followed tip #1) makes you dance on time. Maybe it helps you dance on your own personal beat, but most likely you're counting so loud that you can't hear the beat of the music you're counting to. Just keep the numbers to yourself. If you're lucky, the people in your head will help you out. You can also admit that you need some help and ask your partner for guidance. Use this if the people in your head are on break.
5. Keep the free styling to a minimum.
This is a hard one for most. You only know a few steps in the dance, but you have previous dance experience or just like to get your groove on, so you want to break into some freestyle when you run out of moves. Personally, unless I am good friends with you or am trying to help you feel less self confident, stick to the basics. I would much rather do a basic step the whole dance than have to fake enjoying you shimmy. Exception: merengue <--- do pretty much whatever the hell you want here.
6. Don't critique.
Unless you are paying a compliment after the song ends, keep your trap shut. This goes along with tip #3. Socials are for fun, not for being an ass. You may think you're helping, but in reality you are just less likely to get to dance with that person again.
7. Thank your partner.
Whether it was good or bad, you don't have to say, but you can gain points by simply thanking the person for the dance and not risk building a bad reputation.
8. Assume the worst at first.
If you're dancing with someone for the first time, assume that they are a beginner, or even better ask them what level they feel comfortable dancing. Then slowly add more difficult moves as you go along until you get an idea of what steps they can handle (<-- leaders. followers, you just follow). If you use this technique you'll never make a fool of yourself.
9. Learn to navigate.
Traffic can be as bad as L.A. so do your best to navigate even if it means doing more basic steps. This will mean less collisions and less bruises for the follower which makes for a happy follower.
10. Don't grope (leaders and followers).
Guys tend to be the offenders more often because they tend to have better access. Just remember guys, if you violate this too many times, you'll get an "accidental" bloody lip the next time the lady's elbow is free, and for me too many times is 1.5 and I have good aim.
There are a few other things that could be mentioned here, but if you can handle these ten you can pick up on the rest.
There are few things that can put a damper on my evening of dance. Being sick is one of them, a smokey is another, but the biggest thorn in my side is when people don't at least have some personal awareness of their actions. This may not be their fault or these poor souls may need some guidance, so I have a nice list of etiquette rules to help you continue dancing and making friends.
1. Freshen your breath.
Everyone gets cotton-mouthy after dancing for hours, so after you've eaten, if you smoke, if you've been dancing awhile, do your partner a favor and take a second to prevent them from holding their breath the whole dance.
2. Know your skill level.
I honestly love dancing with beginners. They tend to be timid and may step on my feet frequently, but how else are they going to learn, but by dancing? I honestly love dancing with experienced dancers. They can give me that yummy feeling that only some higher level moves can give. I honestly hate dancing with people who think they are at a much higher level than they are. Everyone makes mistakes and I, nor anyone else, am perfect, but just because you learned some cool move at a workshop, does NOT mean that you know how to lead it, and just because I didn't do what the dancer in you head was supposed to do does NOT mean that I didn't follow what you lead.
3. Do not teach your partner a new move on the dance floor during a social unless you are asked.
Maybe they don't want to do the sequence you learned with a flick because they don't want to look stupid like you do (ok that one was pretty harsh, but deal). If you lead something I don't know and I want to learn it, I will ask you. If I don't ask, don't do it again. Simple.
4. If you need to count the beats, count to yourself and make sure you're counting on time.
I understand that many people have a hard time counting music and learning to dance to it. What I don't understand is how saying the counts very loudly and blowing them into your partners face (even worse if you haven't followed tip #1) makes you dance on time. Maybe it helps you dance on your own personal beat, but most likely you're counting so loud that you can't hear the beat of the music you're counting to. Just keep the numbers to yourself. If you're lucky, the people in your head will help you out. You can also admit that you need some help and ask your partner for guidance. Use this if the people in your head are on break.
5. Keep the free styling to a minimum.
This is a hard one for most. You only know a few steps in the dance, but you have previous dance experience or just like to get your groove on, so you want to break into some freestyle when you run out of moves. Personally, unless I am good friends with you or am trying to help you feel less self confident, stick to the basics. I would much rather do a basic step the whole dance than have to fake enjoying you shimmy. Exception: merengue <--- do pretty much whatever the hell you want here.
6. Don't critique.
Unless you are paying a compliment after the song ends, keep your trap shut. This goes along with tip #3. Socials are for fun, not for being an ass. You may think you're helping, but in reality you are just less likely to get to dance with that person again.
7. Thank your partner.
Whether it was good or bad, you don't have to say, but you can gain points by simply thanking the person for the dance and not risk building a bad reputation.
8. Assume the worst at first.
If you're dancing with someone for the first time, assume that they are a beginner, or even better ask them what level they feel comfortable dancing. Then slowly add more difficult moves as you go along until you get an idea of what steps they can handle (<-- leaders. followers, you just follow). If you use this technique you'll never make a fool of yourself.
9. Learn to navigate.
Traffic can be as bad as L.A. so do your best to navigate even if it means doing more basic steps. This will mean less collisions and less bruises for the follower which makes for a happy follower.
10. Don't grope (leaders and followers).
Guys tend to be the offenders more often because they tend to have better access. Just remember guys, if you violate this too many times, you'll get an "accidental" bloody lip the next time the lady's elbow is free, and for me too many times is 1.5 and I have good aim.
There are a few other things that could be mentioned here, but if you can handle these ten you can pick up on the rest.
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